Using Condolence Poems in Eulogies or Condolence LettersDeath is not an easy subject for anyone to discuss or cope with. Often your emotions are so stirred up that it can be very difficult to come up with words of condolence for those that need them. Sometime you find yourself not saying anything at all and that can be even worse than saying the wrong thing. Poems can be the perfect way to get across what you want to say. Memorial service poems can actually put everyone more at ease during a funeral or memorial service.
READ MORE - Using Condolence Poems in Eulogies or Condolence Letters
Showing posts with label Articles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Articles. Show all posts
How Gratitude Can Change Your Life
Thanksgiving is right around the corner, the holiday that has its origin in the Puritan's tradition of giving thanks for a good harvest. The Puritans weren't the first in this regard. Many religious and societal traditions are based in the concept of gratitude. What all these traditions may or may not have known is that recent scientific studies point to a direct link between gratitude and a deep satisfaction with life . Not only is it good to give thanks, it is good for you to do so!
In a study at theUniversity of California at Davis, Professor Robert Emmons came up with some very interesting and illuminating results from his research project on gratitude and thankfulness. Professor Emmons found that people who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events. In addition, participants who kept the journals were more likely to make progress towards their personal goals in life.
The study also notes that people with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others. Grateful individuals place less importance on material goods; they are less likely to judge their own and others success in terms of possessions accumulated; they are less envious ofwealthy persons; and are more likely to share their possessions with others relative to less grateful persons.
If the practice of gratitude is so beneficial to our overall well-being, how can we learn to cultivate it more? My gut feeling is that the type of gratitude we normally experience when we see others that are less fortunate than ourselves is not enough. If it were, we would all be much happier as we are surrounded by evidence ofthe suffering of so many people in the world today. It seems that we need to look directly at our own lives in order to be truly grateful and thereby reap the benefits of gratitude.
The concept of gratitude is directly related to the idea of the power of positive thinking. Concentrating on what we do have versus what we don't have seems to be the key. Reminding ourselves on a daily basis of all the things that come our way keeps us grounded in gratitude instead of want. At any given moment during the day we can stop in the moment and be thankful. Keeping a record of these moments, journaling, is what Professor Emmons recommends. When life becomes overwhelming we can look back at our musings and see just how lucky we really are.
Indeed, further results of the University of California's study show that a daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) with young adults resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy compared to a focus on hassles or a downward social comparison (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others). There was no difference in levels of unpleasant emotions reported in the three groups.
As we are told not to sweat the small things so too can we be very grateful for the little joys in our lives. I just got back from running to school to drop-off something for my daughter. Upon entering thehouse , which is warm and toasty compared to the rainy, cold day outside, I was greeted by my three dogs with tons of kisses and love. They now lie by my feet as I type away. The house is peaceful and quiet like my own personal sanctuary. I glance out my windows and see nothing but the foliage that envelops my home . These are the little moments that that we can become attuned to in gratitude. There are hundreds of such moments in any given week if we are mindful of them. They add up and build upon one another to create a more centered, content and positive perspective on life.
Furthermore, the research reports that grateful people do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life. Again, my intuition tells me that given the perspective that gratitude gifts us, we are undoubtedly more equipped to handle life's challenges. One's attitude can determine how effective one is in coping with what life throws in our direction. Our perspective on life determines our reality. If we approach things with a perspective grounded in say the belief that life is unfair, everything that turns up will look unfair. But as we practice gratitude, we are endowed with its gifts of optimism and the necessary energy required to take on our lives.
How can you start to practice gratitude? Begin with the art of mindfulness, being totally present in the moment. Notice all the little things that surround you, things you might take for granted if you hadn't stopped to really look. Offer acknowledgement of these small gifts much like my moment in a warm and peaceful home with my dogs. Write them down in a gratitude journal. The little things make up the fabric of our days, our months, and our years. Oftentimes we hardly notice them because we are so caught up in the task of living. As they say, stop and smell the roses.
Stop and consider what you have been given in life. Are you blessed with financial security? Do you have loving children, a supportive family? A nice home? Are you in good health? Do you enjoy your work? Do you have wonderful friends? What does nature give to you? Do you have a supportive and loving mate? Concentrate on what you do have and not what you lack.
Research also tells us that the act of giving back to the world has much the same effect as gratitude. Interestingly enough, Emmons study also found that participants in the daily gratitude condition were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or having offered emotional support to another. The act of gratitude and the act of giving back therefore reinforce each other and lead to the inevitable …more fulfilling, meaningful and happy lives.
These are things that we all know to be true in the abstract and yet we can take them from the abstract into the specifics of our own existence. Start practicing gratitude today. Pull out a notebook and write down just one thing. Commit to adding to this journal everyday. A good time might be before bedtime when you have time to reflect back on your day. Think of all the good things that occurred. Perhaps a brief but meaningful exchange with a child or a friend. Maybe a great cup of coffee. When you put down your pen and paper, you might just go to sleep easier. That's yet something else for which to be grateful.
READ MORE - How Gratitude Can Change Your Life
In a study at the
The study also notes that people with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others. Grateful individuals place less importance on material goods; they are less likely to judge their own and others success in terms of possessions accumulated; they are less envious of
If the practice of gratitude is so beneficial to our overall well-being, how can we learn to cultivate it more? My gut feeling is that the type of gratitude we normally experience when we see others that are less fortunate than ourselves is not enough. If it were, we would all be much happier as we are surrounded by evidence of
The concept of gratitude is directly related to the idea of the power of positive thinking. Concentrating on what we do have versus what we don't have seems to be the key. Reminding ourselves on a daily basis of all the things that come our way keeps us grounded in gratitude instead of want. At any given moment during the day we can stop in the moment and be thankful. Keeping a record of these moments, journaling, is what Professor Emmons recommends. When life becomes overwhelming we can look back at our musings and see just how lucky we really are.
Indeed, further results of the University of California's study show that a daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) with young adults resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy compared to a focus on hassles or a downward social comparison (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others). There was no difference in levels of unpleasant emotions reported in the three groups.
As we are told not to sweat the small things so too can we be very grateful for the little joys in our lives. I just got back from running to school to drop-off something for my daughter. Upon entering the
Furthermore, the research reports that grateful people do not deny or ignore the negative aspects of life. Again, my intuition tells me that given the perspective that gratitude gifts us, we are undoubtedly more equipped to handle life's challenges. One's attitude can determine how effective one is in coping with what life throws in our direction. Our perspective on life determines our reality. If we approach things with a perspective grounded in say the belief that life is unfair, everything that turns up will look unfair. But as we practice gratitude, we are endowed with its gifts of optimism and the necessary energy required to take on our lives.
How can you start to practice gratitude? Begin with the art of mindfulness, being totally present in the moment. Notice all the little things that surround you, things you might take for granted if you hadn't stopped to really look. Offer acknowledgement of these small gifts much like my moment in a warm and peaceful home with my dogs. Write them down in a gratitude journal. The little things make up the fabric of our days, our months, and our years. Oftentimes we hardly notice them because we are so caught up in the task of living. As they say, stop and smell the roses.
Stop and consider what you have been given in life. Are you blessed with financial security? Do you have loving children, a supportive family? A nice home? Are you in good health? Do you enjoy your work? Do you have wonderful friends? What does nature give to you? Do you have a supportive and loving mate? Concentrate on what you do have and not what you lack.
Research also tells us that the act of giving back to the world has much the same effect as gratitude. Interestingly enough, Emmons study also found that participants in the daily gratitude condition were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or having offered emotional support to another. The act of gratitude and the act of giving back therefore reinforce each other and lead to the inevitable …more fulfilling, meaningful and happy lives.
These are things that we all know to be true in the abstract and yet we can take them from the abstract into the specifics of our own existence. Start practicing gratitude today. Pull out a notebook and write down just one thing. Commit to adding to this journal everyday. A good time might be before bedtime when you have time to reflect back on your day. Think of all the good things that occurred. Perhaps a brief but meaningful exchange with a child or a friend. Maybe a great cup of coffee. When you put down your pen and paper, you might just go to sleep easier. That's yet something else for which to be grateful.
Run For Glory TV Series : How To Protect Yourself From Negativity
I am writing this article direct from the filming set of a new BBC1 primetime TV series called "Run For Glory." Run for Glory charts 15 people who have amazingly valiant reasons for wanting to raise money for charity by running the London Marathon.
None of them were runners before this show and they are being trained by UK Olympic gold medallists Steve Cram and Sally Gunnell. I have been filming for one of the Run For Glory shows to help the participants overcome psychological barriers and get in control of their minds with regards to running the marathon and their preparation.
I have found it very interesting to observe the relations between the crew, the producers and the interactions with and in between the participants of the Run for Glory show and how other people really do affect each other and have an impact on each other.
Recently, I wrote about developing rapport without even speaking. Lots of people do this without even being instructed on how to do it. One of the things that I have noticed since I started working within the various fields of personal development is that I am much more aware of other people and how I interact with them.
I have practiced and practiced achieving a really enjoyable sense of rapport with people when I meet them and develop relationships with them. It has been great to observe my own improvements in how I do this and the kind of intuitive and instinctive way that I do this.
When working on the set of this TV show "Run for Glory", I was chatting to one of the participants who is about to become very famous here in the UK thanks to this show, and they were telling me that at the end of filming each episode of Run for Glory, with everything going really well, they would finish the day feeling drained and verging on being depressed.
I spoke to them for a while and I was not sure about this until I observed all the kinds of interaction that was there in this unusual TV environment filming for Run for Glory – the participant was getting excellent results, I mean they are doing so amazingly well, so why were they feeling so low?
I suggested that this person might be picking up other people's issues, thoughts and feelings. I suggested that maybe they needed to protect themselves from the other Run for Glory participants. She used the technique that I then demonstrated to her and subsequently reported back that she felt amazing, so much better than she was before when she was around these people that were stressed, having great demands placed upon them and facing some very challenging situations in their lives.
When you develop rapport with people and get close to them, you can and often do access some of what they are thinking and feeling. This is not the best when the person you are in rapport with is not in a great or a productive state.
It is like a friend of mine who I joke is a "fun vampire." Sometimes he is so morose and seemingly depressed when we are out socially that he seems to "suck the life and the fun" out of all the people that he encounters! I know you all know someone like that too.
I tend to find this is particularly important when I am running seminars with people that are making a lot of changes in their lives or if I am working therapeutically with individuals; I want to be sure not to take on board too much of their feelings and way of thinking. So I want to show you some ways of protecting yourself too.
The way I suggest of doing this requires your natural ability to use your imagination and visualise. Now, if you believe you have difficulty visualising or using your imagination, trust me when I tell you that you use your imagination every day. Your imagination is what reminds you what your partner or spouse looks like, what colour your front door is and how your childhood bedroom looked. You do not have to visualising in perfect cinema screen pictures in your mind, just do it in a way that is right for you. This method is just as effective if you visualise the things I ask or if you just pretend to visualise them in your mind.
Firstly, get yourself nice and relaxed. Sit still and take some longer, deeper breaths and then allow your breathing to be natural and become rhythmic and easy. Focus on the moment; be aware of how your body feels in that moment.
Secondly, as you get more relaxed, imagine the relaxation spreading through your body. If you want to, give it a colour or a texture or imagine it as a sensation.
Thirdly, imagine the relaxation, or the sensation of stillness moving out of your body, just a few centimetres. Imagine that you are extending it to become a protective shield that is all around you.
Imagine that it acts as a filter, so only you to take on things that are for your better good and understanding and does not allow you to take on anything that is going to affect you detrimentally.
I don't know if any of you remember adverts for the oat cereal "Ready Brek"? The people used to have a glow about them when they were going to work if they had eaten their Ready Brek. When I first started protecting myself in this wonderful way, I used to imagine that I had a glow around me that acted like emotional armour and any unwanted thoughts or feelings or even comments of others that I did not want to carry around with me, just bounced off my armour.
Finally, when relaxing tell yourself that this protective shield is there working for you even if you are not consciously aware of it. That way you can be sure that you are not carrying anyone else's vibes around with you and leaves you free to enjoy your experiences for what they really are. Then go ahead and practice this a few times, putting conscious effort into it, imagine making it more powerful with your attention and really getting it strong.
These ideas are just metaphors for protecting yourself, but because your mind and body are one system, they can be extremely effective ways of letting your unconscious know what you want. One of the things that you may begin to notice after you have used this approach a few times and over a prolonged period of time is that you just need to remind yourself of it every now and then, and then it works even better and better. The long term effects of establishing some protection are so very good for you; just as good as finding a good sun screen, that's for sure. It was so successful with that participant for Run for Glory too.
One of the first things I disocvered when I really looked at the people on the set for Run for Glory was how many people out there make negative or bad suggestions (ie. people who say things which guide attention in less than helpful directions). It is the same in life as on the Run For Glory Set! The number of well-meaning doctors, family members, colleagues and friends that I have heard giving people suggestions for ill health, stress and negativity is truly amazing! If you maintain some good protection for yourself, you can be sure not to allow other peoples negative language, thoughts and feelings to affect you in a way that is not for your better good.
The ability to protect myself from the things going on around me has been instrumental in my latter life, being able to block out most unhelpful messages that come my way leaves a very nice state of well-being and it did so too for the participant in Run for Glory.
READ MORE - Run For Glory TV Series : How To Protect Yourself From Negativity
None of them were runners before this show and they are being trained by UK Olympic gold medallists Steve Cram and Sally Gunnell. I have been filming for one of the Run For Glory shows to help the participants overcome psychological barriers and get in control of their minds with regards to running the marathon and their preparation.
I have found it very interesting to observe the relations between the crew, the producers and the interactions with and in between the participants of the Run for Glory show and how other people really do affect each other and have an impact on each other.
Recently, I wrote about developing rapport without even speaking. Lots of people do this without even being instructed on how to do it. One of the things that I have noticed since I started working within the various fields of personal development is that I am much more aware of other people and how I interact with them.
I have practiced and practiced achieving a really enjoyable sense of rapport with people when I meet them and develop relationships with them. It has been great to observe my own improvements in how I do this and the kind of intuitive and instinctive way that I do this.
When working on the set of this TV show "Run for Glory", I was chatting to one of the participants who is about to become very famous here in the UK thanks to this show, and they were telling me that at the end of filming each episode of Run for Glory, with everything going really well, they would finish the day feeling drained and verging on being depressed.
I spoke to them for a while and I was not sure about this until I observed all the kinds of interaction that was there in this unusual TV environment filming for Run for Glory – the participant was getting excellent results, I mean they are doing so amazingly well, so why were they feeling so low?
I suggested that this person might be picking up other people's issues, thoughts and feelings. I suggested that maybe they needed to protect themselves from the other Run for Glory participants. She used the technique that I then demonstrated to her and subsequently reported back that she felt amazing, so much better than she was before when she was around these people that were stressed, having great demands placed upon them and facing some very challenging situations in their lives.
When you develop rapport with people and get close to them, you can and often do access some of what they are thinking and feeling. This is not the best when the person you are in rapport with is not in a great or a productive state.
It is like a friend of mine who I joke is a "fun vampire." Sometimes he is so morose and seemingly depressed when we are out socially that he seems to "suck the life and the fun" out of all the people that he encounters! I know you all know someone like that too.
I tend to find this is particularly important when I am running seminars with people that are making a lot of changes in their lives or if I am working therapeutically with individuals; I want to be sure not to take on board too much of their feelings and way of thinking. So I want to show you some ways of protecting yourself too.
The way I suggest of doing this requires your natural ability to use your imagination and visualise. Now, if you believe you have difficulty visualising or using your imagination, trust me when I tell you that you use your imagination every day. Your imagination is what reminds you what your partner or spouse looks like, what colour your front door is and how your childhood bedroom looked. You do not have to visualising in perfect cinema screen pictures in your mind, just do it in a way that is right for you. This method is just as effective if you visualise the things I ask or if you just pretend to visualise them in your mind.
Firstly, get yourself nice and relaxed. Sit still and take some longer, deeper breaths and then allow your breathing to be natural and become rhythmic and easy. Focus on the moment; be aware of how your body feels in that moment.
Secondly, as you get more relaxed, imagine the relaxation spreading through your body. If you want to, give it a colour or a texture or imagine it as a sensation.
Thirdly, imagine the relaxation, or the sensation of stillness moving out of your body, just a few centimetres. Imagine that you are extending it to become a protective shield that is all around you.
Imagine that it acts as a filter, so only you to take on things that are for your better good and understanding and does not allow you to take on anything that is going to affect you detrimentally.
I don't know if any of you remember adverts for the oat cereal "Ready Brek"? The people used to have a glow about them when they were going to work if they had eaten their Ready Brek. When I first started protecting myself in this wonderful way, I used to imagine that I had a glow around me that acted like emotional armour and any unwanted thoughts or feelings or even comments of others that I did not want to carry around with me, just bounced off my armour.
Finally, when relaxing tell yourself that this protective shield is there working for you even if you are not consciously aware of it. That way you can be sure that you are not carrying anyone else's vibes around with you and leaves you free to enjoy your experiences for what they really are. Then go ahead and practice this a few times, putting conscious effort into it, imagine making it more powerful with your attention and really getting it strong.
These ideas are just metaphors for protecting yourself, but because your mind and body are one system, they can be extremely effective ways of letting your unconscious know what you want. One of the things that you may begin to notice after you have used this approach a few times and over a prolonged period of time is that you just need to remind yourself of it every now and then, and then it works even better and better. The long term effects of establishing some protection are so very good for you; just as good as finding a good sun screen, that's for sure. It was so successful with that participant for Run for Glory too.
One of the first things I disocvered when I really looked at the people on the set for Run for Glory was how many people out there make negative or bad suggestions (ie. people who say things which guide attention in less than helpful directions). It is the same in life as on the Run For Glory Set! The number of well-meaning doctors, family members, colleagues and friends that I have heard giving people suggestions for ill health, stress and negativity is truly amazing! If you maintain some good protection for yourself, you can be sure not to allow other peoples negative language, thoughts and feelings to affect you in a way that is not for your better good.
The ability to protect myself from the things going on around me has been instrumental in my latter life, being able to block out most unhelpful messages that come my way leaves a very nice state of well-being and it did so too for the participant in Run for Glory.
www.readbud.com
Integrity In Design - The Plazacorp Promise
When you manage to provide a condominium for sale every two and a half days (on average) you have the distinction of being one of the best in your field, especially when you consider the teamwork needed to achieve such stellar success.
That is the story of Plazacorp, a company that has been provided 3,000 homes in Toronto in the past twenty years. It takes a mammoth force of specialists from design to construction, engineering to development to make this work.
The personnel at Plazacorp are on a continuous quest to develop new and innovative methods to bring quality and style to their renovations and new developments. While many builders supply a list of upgrades clients can choose from, Plazacorp includes many of those same features as standards in their building practice.
Customers have been impressed with such design features as granite or marble countertops and flooring along with other desired features such as porcelain tile, stainless steel appliances and hardwood floors. Perhaps that is why Plazacorp customers are often the best source of both repeat business as well as enthusiastic word of mouth advertising.
When you walk into a Plazacorp condominium you will be captivated by the warmth and style that bears the imprint of quality and creativity Plazacorp has been recognized for on so many occasions. It is for these reasons and many more that customers refer to their Plazacorp condominium as 'home'.
The Greater Toronto Homebuilders Association has acclaimed Plazacorp by nominating them in such prestigious award categories as Best Building Design, Best Suite Design and Best Model Suite.
Should Plazacorp customers need to move they discover one of the best reasons to be a customer is the positive resale value that comes with the Plazacorp reputation.
And Plazacorp's commitment to the environment is evident when you consider the fact that hundreds of tons of steel have been recycled as part of recent demolition work in their Wet Harbour City edition. Much of the concrete extracted from the demolition effort will be used as crushed concrete in roadbed projects. The West Harbour City project received the "Excellence in Planning Award" for its outstanding commitment to urban design.
Various neighbourhoods are receiving the Plazacorp level of integrity by seeing existing structures brought back to life and unused areas receiving new and inviting structures that are as appealing to look at as they are to live in. Project areas like 900 Mt. Pleasant, Wellington on the Park and Regency Yorkville are turning heads and raising interest in the craftsmanship and beauty of a Plazacorp home.
Plazacorp has proven that their attention to a blending of environmentally sound building practices along with timeless design and sheer elegance is not simply a passing interest in design features and integrity.
Energy efficiency is also a hallmark of a Plazacorp condominium with attention to details such as efficient appliances as well as heating and cooling systems. These design features not only save you money, but requires less energy to operate.
When a choice is made for a Plazacorp condominium you have the assurance of quality, industry honored construction along with the backing of a tremendously talented design and construction team. When the Plazacorp team passes though West Harbour City, 900 Mt. Pleasant, Wellington on the Park, Regency Yorkville or any of their other development sites they remember both the dreams for the future and the fond memories these homes will evoke.
You live in a house for a long time, Plazacorp wants to be sure you have every reason to call one of their condominiums home.
www.readbud.com
READ MORE - Integrity In Design - The Plazacorp Promise
That is the story of Plazacorp, a company that has been provided 3,000 homes in Toronto in the past twenty years. It takes a mammoth force of specialists from design to construction, engineering to development to make this work.
The personnel at Plazacorp are on a continuous quest to develop new and innovative methods to bring quality and style to their renovations and new developments. While many builders supply a list of upgrades clients can choose from, Plazacorp includes many of those same features as standards in their building practice.
Customers have been impressed with such design features as granite or marble countertops and flooring along with other desired features such as porcelain tile, stainless steel appliances and hardwood floors. Perhaps that is why Plazacorp customers are often the best source of both repeat business as well as enthusiastic word of mouth advertising.
When you walk into a Plazacorp condominium you will be captivated by the warmth and style that bears the imprint of quality and creativity Plazacorp has been recognized for on so many occasions. It is for these reasons and many more that customers refer to their Plazacorp condominium as 'home'.
The Greater Toronto Homebuilders Association has acclaimed Plazacorp by nominating them in such prestigious award categories as Best Building Design, Best Suite Design and Best Model Suite.
Should Plazacorp customers need to move they discover one of the best reasons to be a customer is the positive resale value that comes with the Plazacorp reputation.
And Plazacorp's commitment to the environment is evident when you consider the fact that hundreds of tons of steel have been recycled as part of recent demolition work in their Wet Harbour City edition. Much of the concrete extracted from the demolition effort will be used as crushed concrete in roadbed projects. The West Harbour City project received the "Excellence in Planning Award" for its outstanding commitment to urban design.
Various neighbourhoods are receiving the Plazacorp level of integrity by seeing existing structures brought back to life and unused areas receiving new and inviting structures that are as appealing to look at as they are to live in. Project areas like 900 Mt. Pleasant, Wellington on the Park and Regency Yorkville are turning heads and raising interest in the craftsmanship and beauty of a Plazacorp home.
Plazacorp has proven that their attention to a blending of environmentally sound building practices along with timeless design and sheer elegance is not simply a passing interest in design features and integrity.
Energy efficiency is also a hallmark of a Plazacorp condominium with attention to details such as efficient appliances as well as heating and cooling systems. These design features not only save you money, but requires less energy to operate.
When a choice is made for a Plazacorp condominium you have the assurance of quality, industry honored construction along with the backing of a tremendously talented design and construction team. When the Plazacorp team passes though West Harbour City, 900 Mt. Pleasant, Wellington on the Park, Regency Yorkville or any of their other development sites they remember both the dreams for the future and the fond memories these homes will evoke.
You live in a house for a long time, Plazacorp wants to be sure you have every reason to call one of their condominiums home.
www.readbud.com
Effective Problem-Solving Leads To Solutions
Problems are a part of life. They have accompanied us since birth, and will continue to do so until the twilight of our lives. But this is no reason to get upset. In fact, the thought that problems happen to absolutely everyone should come as a welcome relief.
Problems are not the result of being a bad or good person. They happen to good and bad people alike. Sometimes, even despite of our best judgments and careful planning, problems still meet us in the most unexpected circumstances.
Here are some tips to conquer your problems:
Trace the root of the problem.
The best way to start finding a solution to a problem is to try to figure out how the problem started in the first place. If you find yourself lost in the middle of the road, the chances are that you took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. This is why you need to go back, retrace your steps, and discover where you have gone wrong. This way you would be able to figure out which way you should go, which roads to avoid, and how to get there.
Don't sweat the little things.
Little problems are best dealt with by giving them a shrug of the shoulder. Having a bad hair day or breaking a nail is not reason enough to break into fits of hysteria. Sure, it is annoying; but get over it! People will be surprised how a little change in their attitude can go a long way in solving their problems.
In fact, a lot of problems people are facing will dissolve if they only change their attitude. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of their lives, and being so cynical, they should instead try to make the best out of every situation. If you are not satisfied with the situation you are in, you should strive to make some positive changes in your life.
Confront your problems.
Not confronting problems can lead to bigger issues. Before problems can be solved, they must first be dealt with. For example, a person pretending not to be sick when he very well knows that he is suffering from an illness will not help him solve this problem. In fact, this will only make the situation much worse, if he refuses to seek out the medical attention that he needs.
The problem with choosing to ignore problems is that they can lead to bigger problems. Some who choose to escape their problems may turn to alcohol, drugs, or other self-destructive behaviors simply because they want to avoid the problems they are encountering. This, in turn, becomes a part of the problem. Instead of finding a solution, they find bigger problems.
Ask for help.
Strength comes in numbers. One of the best ways to quickly solve a problem is to ask for help. This is where friends and family come in. Not only will they be physically able to help you, they can also be a source of emotional help as well. Not only that, they would be able to throw in some ideas that just might be the key to finding the solution to your problem!
Having some problems does not mean that it is the end of the world. It just means that you are going to have to work hard at finding the solutions to your problems. By going through this process, not only will you solve your problems, but you can gain a lot of knowledge and wisdom along the way!
READ MORE - Effective Problem-Solving Leads To Solutions
Problems are not the result of being a bad or good person. They happen to good and bad people alike. Sometimes, even despite of our best judgments and careful planning, problems still meet us in the most unexpected circumstances.
Here are some tips to conquer your problems:
Trace the root of the problem.
The best way to start finding a solution to a problem is to try to figure out how the problem started in the first place. If you find yourself lost in the middle of the road, the chances are that you took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. This is why you need to go back, retrace your steps, and discover where you have gone wrong. This way you would be able to figure out which way you should go, which roads to avoid, and how to get there.
Don't sweat the little things.
Little problems are best dealt with by giving them a shrug of the shoulder. Having a bad hair day or breaking a nail is not reason enough to break into fits of hysteria. Sure, it is annoying; but get over it! People will be surprised how a little change in their attitude can go a long way in solving their problems.
In fact, a lot of problems people are facing will dissolve if they only change their attitude. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of their lives, and being so cynical, they should instead try to make the best out of every situation. If you are not satisfied with the situation you are in, you should strive to make some positive changes in your life.
Confront your problems.
Not confronting problems can lead to bigger issues. Before problems can be solved, they must first be dealt with. For example, a person pretending not to be sick when he very well knows that he is suffering from an illness will not help him solve this problem. In fact, this will only make the situation much worse, if he refuses to seek out the medical attention that he needs.
The problem with choosing to ignore problems is that they can lead to bigger problems. Some who choose to escape their problems may turn to alcohol, drugs, or other self-destructive behaviors simply because they want to avoid the problems they are encountering. This, in turn, becomes a part of the problem. Instead of finding a solution, they find bigger problems.
Ask for help.
Strength comes in numbers. One of the best ways to quickly solve a problem is to ask for help. This is where friends and family come in. Not only will they be physically able to help you, they can also be a source of emotional help as well. Not only that, they would be able to throw in some ideas that just might be the key to finding the solution to your problem!
Having some problems does not mean that it is the end of the world. It just means that you are going to have to work hard at finding the solutions to your problems. By going through this process, not only will you solve your problems, but you can gain a lot of knowledge and wisdom along the way!
Leadership Training - All You Need To Know About It
Effective leadership training also entails helping individuals form an enterprising and immensely focused group. The leadership qualities assist an individual in making sure that members of the group function jointly in an efficient and constructive manner. Leadership training helps a leader to imbibe a sense of optimism in the group to which he belongs. The group’s members are guided by the leadership virtues of the key man.
The introduction of a successful leader into a management team is a good investment for any organization. Leaders visualize plans, inspire subordinates and plan the required course. Leadership skills comprise of various qualities such as optimism, commitment and the ability to use power effectively.
Leadership training is significant, not only in the world of business, but even in the worlds of sports and medicine. Leadership training is essential for the social and economical set-up of any business. Leadership skills in managers are important ingredients in company's expansion. These skills are best acquired with the help leadership training. Democratic, autocratic and laissez-faire are the different approaches to leadership training. Each of these is unique and inculcates leadership skills based upon distinct operational patterns
A majority of times it has been observed that, despite possessing leadership skills, a person cannot flourish. This inability to come out in flying colors stems from the fact that the person is not conversant with the subtle techniques that help bring out the leader in him. <
Individuals aspiring to be successful leaders may at times find that their efforts are undermined despite their best efforts. This is due to the fact that the individual lacks the motivation to overcome his obstacles. A proper and suitable training in leadership skills often helps one to overcome these barriers.
Training programs are tools that help in the application of leadership skills at work. These skills could have been acquired at leadership skills classes, seminars or read. Individuals as well as organizations specialize in offering leadership training in various fields. There are many organizations that offer online leadership training also. Some of these organizations are even willing to reimburse the money paid for a leadership seminar, if the result is not satisfactory. Leadership training programs are expected to use core and widely agreed upon features of leadership, to bring out the best in people. Leadership involves vision and the ability to influence people and motivate them to work towards it.
Leadership training can be profitable to businesses in a number of ways. It helps to educate the employees, improves their performances and reduces staff attrition. This is beneficial to organizations, as it reduces the cost involved in constantly hiring new employees. It also helps in developing high performance teams. The participants gain a sense of power, which is, the power to guide others and the organization in the right direction, successfully.
www.readbud.com
How to pick the Dream Tattoo Design That You Want Today
Keeping this in mind, many people end up regretting the tattoo that is inked on their body. Most of the time, these people did not take the time to really think about why they choose a particular tattoo and look at other tattoo designs that are available. This is why picking out the right tattoo design from the start is important. Being impulsive has disaster written all over it.
The removal of offending tattoos is painful and expensive. Learn this lesson now or pay for it later. That is all I am going to say about this!
Here are some suggestions how to get started finding your dream tattoo design:
· Don't shop around for the cheapest studio or artist. Do shop around for the best artist within your driving range.
· Why do you want a tattoo? Remember, lovers come and go. Rosie isn't going to like "Kim" emblazoned on your chest.
· A lot of people have tattoos to remember someone who passed away. You can choose a symbol or design that has meaning to them.
· You may have some idea what image is special to you. But don't worry, most people are visual and there are many tattoo design resources to browse to find the tattoo design that you really like.
· Go to your local bookstore and find the tattoo books, design books, theme books and magazines.
· Your local tattoo artist will have a portfolio of tattoo designs to leaf though.
· Check out the web. There are sites that have 1000's of designs to choose from for a small fee. You can print them out and give it to your Tattoo artist.
· Choose the color.
· Relax. Think about it a little. Toss it around in your brain for a few days. Be patient.
· Word of caution … Tattoos can direct a negative perception of you during job interviews. So the placement of the tattoo on your body is a good idea.
Good luck getting the dream tattoo design that you want. They say ink acquisition is a way to express yourself to others, but I would also add that getting good body art is going to make you special and unique!
www.readbud.com
Spring Cleaning - hard work but such a great pay off!
Spring-cleaning: for some a chore for others a joy. I learned about this ritual at an early age. Now, the thought of spring-cleaning evokes precious memories.
When I was a young child, back in the land of four seasons and none of them rain (Manitoba), the cold inhibiting days of winter were ushered out with a yearly farm ritual: spring-cleaning. No corner of our home was left untouched by brooms, dusters, scrub brushes, rags and other cleaning weapons. Every inch of closet was emptied, inventories were taken, value was assessed, surfaces were washed and cleaned, and then those clothes that were still 'good' were organized in a useful and efficient way. Beds were moved, dressers emptied, ceilings dusted.
My memory of choice is the window cleaning. After windowpanes were removed for cleaning, the windowsill became a place of pure ecstasy! I can easily recall those moments: sitting on my perfect perch, watching the ice break up in the creek behind our home. Huge pieces floated by, cracking loudly, twisting, crunching, piling up in a chaotic proclamation of the new season's arrival. Fresh air was in abundance; pussy willows to the left, bird feeders with chirping chickadees to the right. It was heavenly!
It was that type of day where I learned that hard work pays off. At that early age, I felt the change of energy in my home and in myself after a day of thorough de-cluttering and cleaning. The house felt lighter, brighter, more cheerful. I felt like skipping.
The best part of de-cluttering and organizing for me today is hearing my clients describe similar feelings of lightness and freedom after a session together. Whether in their home or office, de-cluttering can be a cathartic passing of the old, the start a whole new season in life.
What are your plans this spring? Is a cluttered room or desk stopping you from enjoying your home or office the way you'd like to enjoy it? Have your dust bunnies proliferated beyond a reasonable limit? Do you find spring-cleaning to be a daunting task of Olympian magnitude? Has it never even occurred to you that a good spring-cleaning would be appropriate at the office?
READ MORE - Spring Cleaning - hard work but such a great pay off!
When I was a young child, back in the land of four seasons and none of them rain (Manitoba), the cold inhibiting days of winter were ushered out with a yearly farm ritual: spring-cleaning. No corner of our home was left untouched by brooms, dusters, scrub brushes, rags and other cleaning weapons. Every inch of closet was emptied, inventories were taken, value was assessed, surfaces were washed and cleaned, and then those clothes that were still 'good' were organized in a useful and efficient way. Beds were moved, dressers emptied, ceilings dusted.
My memory of choice is the window cleaning. After windowpanes were removed for cleaning, the windowsill became a place of pure ecstasy! I can easily recall those moments: sitting on my perfect perch, watching the ice break up in the creek behind our home. Huge pieces floated by, cracking loudly, twisting, crunching, piling up in a chaotic proclamation of the new season's arrival. Fresh air was in abundance; pussy willows to the left, bird feeders with chirping chickadees to the right. It was heavenly!
It was that type of day where I learned that hard work pays off. At that early age, I felt the change of energy in my home and in myself after a day of thorough de-cluttering and cleaning. The house felt lighter, brighter, more cheerful. I felt like skipping.
The best part of de-cluttering and organizing for me today is hearing my clients describe similar feelings of lightness and freedom after a session together. Whether in their home or office, de-cluttering can be a cathartic passing of the old, the start a whole new season in life.
What are your plans this spring? Is a cluttered room or desk stopping you from enjoying your home or office the way you'd like to enjoy it? Have your dust bunnies proliferated beyond a reasonable limit? Do you find spring-cleaning to be a daunting task of Olympian magnitude? Has it never even occurred to you that a good spring-cleaning would be appropriate at the office?
Creative Loafing
Have you tried creative loafing? It is a good excuse to relax, and also a great way to come up with new ideas and solutions to problems. How does one creatively loaf? Just relax, open your mind, and use one of the many idea-generating techniques.
A Creative Loafing Technique
My favorite technique is one that is best for generating new ideas rather than solving specific problems. It can be used in any area of life. It is simply the imagining of new applications for existing ideas.
Once, while laying on the couch, I saw an advertisement for a company that uses a dog to find mold in your house. You may know that dogs can be trained to sniff out almost anything. There was even a news story a year or two ago about a dog that could detect if you had cancer.
What was my first thought? "I wonder what else dogs could find by smell?" The first idea that came to mind was to use dogs to find other pets. They find lost people so well, so why not have a service to find lost pets? just one sniff of the cats favorite rug, and the dog is on the trail.
A Creative Loafing Example
You can certainly use your relaxing times to just randomly ponder things, but why not put creative loafing together with a good idea-generating technique. Then you can lay under a tree and have an endless stream of creative new ideas. For this "new-application technique," just start with the essence of the idea, and look for new ways to use it.
For example, you might lay there and think about the pneumatic tubes that deliver your money and papers at a bank's drive-through. The essence is a cartridge that delivers things through a tube using air pressure. I imagine the same thing would work for human transport. Could you ride "the tube" to the next city, or maybe make this into an amusement park ride?
Look other aspects of an idea too. For example, these tubes allow several customers to be waited on at once. Where else do they need this? A fast food drive through comes to mind. Perhaps pneumatic tubes would spill drinks, but the idea of multiple car lanes can be used. Several drive-through windows, radiating out like spokes, at different angles, would allow three different lines of cars.
If you want to practice using this technique, just lay back and...
- Imagine three new uses for pedal-power.
- Imagine two new uses for magnets.
- Think of a new application for Darwin's theory of natural selection, outside of biology.
Can you see how easy it is to come up with new ideas? Why not learn a few more techniques? Then apply them to personal problems. Finally, to make the best use of your creative loafing time, keep a notebook or tape recorder ready.
READ MORE - Creative Loafing
A Creative Loafing Technique
My favorite technique is one that is best for generating new ideas rather than solving specific problems. It can be used in any area of life. It is simply the imagining of new applications for existing ideas.
Once, while laying on the couch, I saw an advertisement for a company that uses a dog to find mold in your house. You may know that dogs can be trained to sniff out almost anything. There was even a news story a year or two ago about a dog that could detect if you had cancer.
What was my first thought? "I wonder what else dogs could find by smell?" The first idea that came to mind was to use dogs to find other pets. They find lost people so well, so why not have a service to find lost pets? just one sniff of the cats favorite rug, and the dog is on the trail.
A Creative Loafing Example
You can certainly use your relaxing times to just randomly ponder things, but why not put creative loafing together with a good idea-generating technique. Then you can lay under a tree and have an endless stream of creative new ideas. For this "new-application technique," just start with the essence of the idea, and look for new ways to use it.
For example, you might lay there and think about the pneumatic tubes that deliver your money and papers at a bank's drive-through. The essence is a cartridge that delivers things through a tube using air pressure. I imagine the same thing would work for human transport. Could you ride "the tube" to the next city, or maybe make this into an amusement park ride?
Look other aspects of an idea too. For example, these tubes allow several customers to be waited on at once. Where else do they need this? A fast food drive through comes to mind. Perhaps pneumatic tubes would spill drinks, but the idea of multiple car lanes can be used. Several drive-through windows, radiating out like spokes, at different angles, would allow three different lines of cars.
If you want to practice using this technique, just lay back and...
- Imagine three new uses for pedal-power.
- Imagine two new uses for magnets.
- Think of a new application for Darwin's theory of natural selection, outside of biology.
Can you see how easy it is to come up with new ideas? Why not learn a few more techniques? Then apply them to personal problems. Finally, to make the best use of your creative loafing time, keep a notebook or tape recorder ready.
Lessons from a Sports Psychologist
After she told each team their elapsed time, she asked a question: how do you think you'll do the second time? It was interesting to hear them work things out with their respective teams; they're so much smarter than we given them credit for. In this instance, however, their brains failed them.
Both teams set unrealistic goals, which is to be expected. After the second race finished, neither team was anywhere near its target. But our crafty psychologist wasn't through. To complete the lesson, she asked them to set one last goal. This time, with the benefit of experience, each group chose a reasonable target, while still challenging. They learned their lesson and achieved the goals.
Unrealistic expectations plague the would-be achiever. By setting a target that isn't possible, they set themselves up for failure. You can do something today to help your kids avoid this mistake.
Set up a challenge at home. Time the first run, ask for a goal, and then time the second run. Afterwards, explain the idea of reasonable expectations, using the challenge to help clarify your point. Then ask for a third goal and watch the wheels begin to turn and the lesson sink in.
In just a few minutes you can pass on a lesson of improvement they'll use for years to come.
Law of Life
The Law – Everything is energy. Choose to believe this law. You must accept it.
Your thoughts, your feelings, what you focus on are all energy. Do you understand that you have created the person you have become and created the quality of life you have.
Take a good look at what you have created. You, and only you, are responsible for your present level of success in life.
Right now, reflect on ways to make a positive difference in the quality of your life.
First, choose the area of life you want to focus. It can be your relationship, your career, your health; your finances just to mention a few. The most important thing to remember is to focus on just one area to start.
As you conquer the first obstacle, then go to the next. Keep moving forward until your goals are reached.
Know your purpose. Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. Identify your life purpose and stop wandering through life with little or no direction.
You must stop and smell the roses. Try this experiment and take note of reactions of different types of people.
1. Go to your local park
2. Find a bed of flowers or some magnificent location.
3. Carefully watch people passing this location.
Some will stop and enjoy the flowers. They will take time to smell and touch and enjoy them. Some will walk by and offer no more than a quick glance. Others will pass by and never see them at all. If you stop them and ask, they will reply "what flowers?
Meditation is like stopping and smelling the flowers. It is an intensely personal and spiritual experience. There are many forms of meditation however they all use concentration techniques that helps us become aware of all of our inner thoughts.
Meditation is the key to finding your secret force that can overcome these obstacles and change your way of life.
You must first take action to face your current fears, honor your strengths and live from the inside out.
Live your life on purpose, not by accident.
The Past – It's gone and should be no more than a fading memory.
The Future – It has not happened yet. Things you do today are likely to impact your future.
Don't compare your present situation to anything else. Accept it for what it is and make the best of it or decide to Take Action now if it is not the present that you are happy with.
The time is here to decide that there is no such thing as failure. It is time to take the opportunity to learn from the experience and move forward. Learn from your mistakes and grow wiser and stronger and you will grow to accomplish more.
Are you stuck in a rut and unsure how to make changes in your life?
Do you need some support in helping motivate you to move forward in achieving the life you deserve?
It's your life. Don't complain if you are not willing to Take Action.
With clear goals and constructive support, you will be surprised how fast progress will be made.
READ MORE - Law of Life
Your thoughts, your feelings, what you focus on are all energy. Do you understand that you have created the person you have become and created the quality of life you have.
Take a good look at what you have created. You, and only you, are responsible for your present level of success in life.
Right now, reflect on ways to make a positive difference in the quality of your life.
First, choose the area of life you want to focus. It can be your relationship, your career, your health; your finances just to mention a few. The most important thing to remember is to focus on just one area to start.
As you conquer the first obstacle, then go to the next. Keep moving forward until your goals are reached.
Know your purpose. Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. Identify your life purpose and stop wandering through life with little or no direction.
You must stop and smell the roses. Try this experiment and take note of reactions of different types of people.
1. Go to your local park
2. Find a bed of flowers or some magnificent location.
3. Carefully watch people passing this location.
Some will stop and enjoy the flowers. They will take time to smell and touch and enjoy them. Some will walk by and offer no more than a quick glance. Others will pass by and never see them at all. If you stop them and ask, they will reply "what flowers?
Meditation is like stopping and smelling the flowers. It is an intensely personal and spiritual experience. There are many forms of meditation however they all use concentration techniques that helps us become aware of all of our inner thoughts.
Meditation is the key to finding your secret force that can overcome these obstacles and change your way of life.
You must first take action to face your current fears, honor your strengths and live from the inside out.
Live your life on purpose, not by accident.
The Past – It's gone and should be no more than a fading memory.
The Future – It has not happened yet. Things you do today are likely to impact your future.
Don't compare your present situation to anything else. Accept it for what it is and make the best of it or decide to Take Action now if it is not the present that you are happy with.
The time is here to decide that there is no such thing as failure. It is time to take the opportunity to learn from the experience and move forward. Learn from your mistakes and grow wiser and stronger and you will grow to accomplish more.
Are you stuck in a rut and unsure how to make changes in your life?
Do you need some support in helping motivate you to move forward in achieving the life you deserve?
It's your life. Don't complain if you are not willing to Take Action.
With clear goals and constructive support, you will be surprised how fast progress will be made.
Be Organized And Never Forget A Thing Again
Being forgetful about little things isn't a good sign of leading a healthy mind or good memory. These things are important in terms of allowing your mind to create its own association with the things in the past that you have been used to and the just the thought of you being on this state creates an even bigger conflict with upcoming tasks.
But let us not forget the people with commendable memory. They may have nothing in particular to worry about especially when it comes to memorization tasks, but these people still and will experience a slip of thought time and again. It may be just little things, like saying you have misplaced your keys because you have forgotten where you last put it in the first place. For you it may just be a simple "misplacement" of important objects, but if you try to think about it at a different level, it is actually a memory problem. The bad news is that, it could even become worse than how it is today.
Again, these things may be simple. Other than forgetting where you have placed your car keys this morning, things like important events and deadlines can slip off of your mind as well and this could become a bad habit. Good news is, you can take control of these things. You can stop yourself from developing absentmindedness because when it takes over you, your natural instinct of organizing things properly also slips away.
When you try to think about it, there is actually a great significance as to how a person organize his thoughts and in turn, the things that matters around him. Improving your memory can be done in so many ways but destroying it can also happen in a snap and there are still more factors that contribute to memory failure.
This time, it's simple. Try your best to be organized. If remembering where you placed your car keys is a problem, use a container you can easily spot and place it where it can easily be seen. If remembering names is too much, ask more information about the person, his whereabouts, achievements and acquaintances. The things that he say are going to imprint memory anchors to your brain which holds on to his name. There are many ideas how you can simply prevent forgetfulness but it is up to you apply it.
READ MORE - Be Organized And Never Forget A Thing Again
But let us not forget the people with commendable memory. They may have nothing in particular to worry about especially when it comes to memorization tasks, but these people still and will experience a slip of thought time and again. It may be just little things, like saying you have misplaced your keys because you have forgotten where you last put it in the first place. For you it may just be a simple "misplacement" of important objects, but if you try to think about it at a different level, it is actually a memory problem. The bad news is that, it could even become worse than how it is today.
Again, these things may be simple. Other than forgetting where you have placed your car keys this morning, things like important events and deadlines can slip off of your mind as well and this could become a bad habit. Good news is, you can take control of these things. You can stop yourself from developing absentmindedness because when it takes over you, your natural instinct of organizing things properly also slips away.
When you try to think about it, there is actually a great significance as to how a person organize his thoughts and in turn, the things that matters around him. Improving your memory can be done in so many ways but destroying it can also happen in a snap and there are still more factors that contribute to memory failure.
This time, it's simple. Try your best to be organized. If remembering where you placed your car keys is a problem, use a container you can easily spot and place it where it can easily be seen. If remembering names is too much, ask more information about the person, his whereabouts, achievements and acquaintances. The things that he say are going to imprint memory anchors to your brain which holds on to his name. There are many ideas how you can simply prevent forgetfulness but it is up to you apply it.
www.readbud.com
How to be Successful
Most of the people believe that they just can't achieve great success because they don't have what it takes, or because they're not educated enough! They complain that luck is never on their side or that they weren't born to be successful, or even that they are too poor to ever even think about being something else!
You know what? You don't need luck or any diploma to accomplish the success you deserve.
You just need faith. Faith that you will indeed be successful, faith that you have all that it takes to make it to the top! You have to BELIEVE that YOU ARE the most successful person you ever met.
If you don't believe in yourself, who on earth do you think will?
The most successful persons in the world (businessmen (women), signers, physicians, etc.) all have that point in common: They all believed firmly that they were going to be exactly what they expected to be. They never doubted themselves, they had faith in their potentials and they were absolutely convinced that they would make it to the top! They never accepted a No for an answer. Nothing as ever stopped them, slowed down maybe, but never stopped!
Well that is very neat on paper, but I can hear you tell me: "It's easier said than done! How can I have faith in myself, when all that I have done so far hasn't brought me the success I am dreaming of? Everything that I'm trying ends up in a mess! Oh, I have attained some results of course, but I want more than that!" And that could go on and on...
There is a lot of things that ANYBODY can do to become a success in any field they choose: relationships, business, career, anything you can think of!
First, you have to understand that you will need to make an effort, not necessarily a huge one, but let's put it that way: you will definitely need consistence in your doings.
With anything that you're trying to attain if you don't give consistent efforts, you'll just simply NEVER get what you expect. The main point is to believe that YOU CAN be successful, and YOU WILL indeed.
One good method I am using for years now is Affirmation. And that doesn‚t really take a great deal of an effort to do. Simply keep repeating to your self some sentences like these ones:
- I am a successful person.
- I can attain any success level I desire.
- I will be rich because I deserve it!
- Etc.
There are some rules that have to be followed when using the Affirmation Method.
You will be surprised on how effective that simple and easy method is. Few years ago I started with affirmations to help me care about my self. Yeah! I was like that! A person that didn't like herself enough to believe that she could do anything good. Well that simple method had simply change my life for the better! Now I am happy with myself, my life with my family and friends is fill with joy and happiness, I run a successful business in Graphic Arts and I do have a great success with my spare time e-businesses.
So, let me tell you that this method can really change your life too if you only give it a try! I went from living in a stressful mood all the time, never expecting anything good could ever happen to me, to being loaded with confidence in my possibilities and chances of being successful in all the aspects of my life! And still sometimes when something doesn't go the way I want it, I grab my pen and start writing positive affirmations. And back on the good track I am!
So pick up your pen, and start climbing the road to success!
With that simple method you too can become successful in any of your goals. I simply wish the information I just gave you, will help you out! Don't hesitate to contact me, I'll be more than glad to hear from you and discuss that method with you.
How to Bend without Breaking
If you're like me, you don't always feel like working out. Some days it comes naturally, and those days are wonderful. Other days it sounds as enticing as getting hit in the head with a mallet.
This used to cause me trouble. I set a rigid schedule and told myself I had to stick to it. No exceptions. As a result, there were some days when I exercised and wasn't too happy about it. There were other times when I skipped out and felt guilty. I broke my word and my plan.
It reached the point when I didn't want to do it at all. I felt trapped, obligated. It took a toll on my motivation.
Then I made a change so simple that it's almost laughable. But it worked. And, perhaps, it will work for you.
My schedule is to exercise five days a week. In the past, my two days off were reserved for the weekends. This is what led to the turmoil. Working out Monday through Friday was mandatory. But now, instead of five straight days of workweek exercise, I use the two days off at my discretion.
Not motivated Monday? Take the day off. Feeling wimpy on Wednesday? Skip it. As long as I got my five days in, I felt good. I had room to breathe, room to postpone when I wasn't in the mood, and I was still meeting the goal. The day after a break, because I didn't force it the day before or load my mind with guilt, I was ready to go.
Ideas don't have to be groundbreaking to be effective. So if you're having trouble staying motivated with your exercise program, try tinkering with the schedule. Give yourself the flexibility to take a break when it's needed. That way you'll have a plan that rolls with everyday living, instead of a forced road march that ends up killing every ounce of drive you have.
READ MORE - How to Bend without Breaking
This used to cause me trouble. I set a rigid schedule and told myself I had to stick to it. No exceptions. As a result, there were some days when I exercised and wasn't too happy about it. There were other times when I skipped out and felt guilty. I broke my word and my plan.
It reached the point when I didn't want to do it at all. I felt trapped, obligated. It took a toll on my motivation.
Then I made a change so simple that it's almost laughable. But it worked. And, perhaps, it will work for you.
My schedule is to exercise five days a week. In the past, my two days off were reserved for the weekends. This is what led to the turmoil. Working out Monday through Friday was mandatory. But now, instead of five straight days of workweek exercise, I use the two days off at my discretion.
Not motivated Monday? Take the day off. Feeling wimpy on Wednesday? Skip it. As long as I got my five days in, I felt good. I had room to breathe, room to postpone when I wasn't in the mood, and I was still meeting the goal. The day after a break, because I didn't force it the day before or load my mind with guilt, I was ready to go.
Ideas don't have to be groundbreaking to be effective. So if you're having trouble staying motivated with your exercise program, try tinkering with the schedule. Give yourself the flexibility to take a break when it's needed. That way you'll have a plan that rolls with everyday living, instead of a forced road march that ends up killing every ounce of drive you have.
www.motivation123.com
Relax Your Way To Public Speaking
Believe it or not, fear of death is actually second to the one greatest fear that the majority of humanity seems tensely afraid of: fear of speaking in public.
If fear is all that you are thinking, then forget about that presentation that could earn your company and you the necessary sales. Presentation and public speaking is one of the most efficient as well as effective manner in making your products and services known. Why deny your product or service the chance to be heard? If you are still afraid, try your very best to focus on the various positive after effects of making that presentation. Create in your mind the numerous clients, customers and contact persons you might not get to see or be involved with if you let that unnecessary and irrelevant anxiety take hold of you. Your presentation may only take thirty minutes but the long term effects of your pitch or presentation might go a long way.
If the fear is still gripping you, try to do the following exercises to help your body relax and warm up to whatever it is you plan to do in your presentation. Turn that negative energy into a positive one and see who benefits best from it.
Warm up your body
Are you wearing high heeled shoes now? If you are, please take them off now. Then go and stand up. Try to stand on only one leg. Then shake the leg that is off the floor. Switch legs and do the same thing again. What you are doing is taking the negative energy of anxiety towards the floor and out of your body. Though this may appear and sound so out of this world, it actually works. For your information, actors use this as a warm-up exercise prior to attacking any scene. <
Hold out your hands, shake them, fast. Put your hands over your head and bring them to your sides. Repeat the same process. Doing this continually will take the tension off your hands and arms so any movements you make with them during your presentation gets to appear natural.
Ease the tension present in the muscles of your face. In order to do this what you could do is chew in a manner that is exaggerated.
These exercises are done for the purpose of warming any part of your body that is edgy, uptight or taut from being too nervous thinking about how you will do in your presentation. Do not think too much though as it only adds unnecessary stress. Relax and your audience will relax along with you.
READ MORE - Relax Your Way To Public Speaking
If fear is all that you are thinking, then forget about that presentation that could earn your company and you the necessary sales. Presentation and public speaking is one of the most efficient as well as effective manner in making your products and services known. Why deny your product or service the chance to be heard? If you are still afraid, try your very best to focus on the various positive after effects of making that presentation. Create in your mind the numerous clients, customers and contact persons you might not get to see or be involved with if you let that unnecessary and irrelevant anxiety take hold of you. Your presentation may only take thirty minutes but the long term effects of your pitch or presentation might go a long way.
If the fear is still gripping you, try to do the following exercises to help your body relax and warm up to whatever it is you plan to do in your presentation. Turn that negative energy into a positive one and see who benefits best from it.
Warm up your body
Are you wearing high heeled shoes now? If you are, please take them off now. Then go and stand up. Try to stand on only one leg. Then shake the leg that is off the floor. Switch legs and do the same thing again. What you are doing is taking the negative energy of anxiety towards the floor and out of your body. Though this may appear and sound so out of this world, it actually works. For your information, actors use this as a warm-up exercise prior to attacking any scene. <
Hold out your hands, shake them, fast. Put your hands over your head and bring them to your sides. Repeat the same process. Doing this continually will take the tension off your hands and arms so any movements you make with them during your presentation gets to appear natural.
Ease the tension present in the muscles of your face. In order to do this what you could do is chew in a manner that is exaggerated.
These exercises are done for the purpose of warming any part of your body that is edgy, uptight or taut from being too nervous thinking about how you will do in your presentation. Do not think too much though as it only adds unnecessary stress. Relax and your audience will relax along with you.
www.readbud.com
ow To Be Successful
[Note: I've republished this article at the beginning of the year the last couple of years. With many people looking to have their best year ever, I feel like doing my best part to provide a semblance of a road map.]
The Most Important Key to Success
- Do What You Love - You aren't going to be successful at something you spend all day dreading. When I was excited about software engineering, I was good - perhaps even above average ;-). When I got stuck on a project that didn't interest me, I was honestly a poor software engineer.
Preparation and Planning
- Make a List of Short, Medium, and Long Term Goals - Each night before I go to sleep, I try to write down 5-10 things that I want to accomplish the next day. I make sure that at least 3-4 are things that I can complete that day and purge from my to-do list. I also make sure to add a couple of small parts of medium or long-term projects. Here's an example. I'm looking to write an eBook. One day my goal was to create an outline of the book - 9-12 chapters and 3-5 things that I wanted to cover in each chapter. The next day one of my goals was to write at least one of those 3-5 things in one chapter. In 1-2 months, I'll have my eBook written.
- Catalog Your Progress - I started this blog to keep me accountable. I can't go out and buy a Ferrari on credit and then write about it here. Instead, I catalog my alternative income progress here. Each day, I think about how I'm going to grow that so that next month I don't have to live up to my moniker.
Learn These Skills
- Sales / Marketing - Even if you don't think you have a product to sell, you do... yourself. I've learned that sales and marketing are not easy skills to learn. You can't shout "look at me!" or people will think you are obnoxious. You have to find people who might be genuinely interested in what you have to offer. I always find it best to be open and honest with what I have to sell. If the product is of value, you price it accordingly, and have the right buyer, it should sell itself. I've found that if you have to "sell" to hard, it's probably going to be a sale you regret making.
- Public Speaking - I might be one of the most shy people on Earth. Talking to someone one-on-one often ties my stomach in knots. Imagine how I must feel about public speaking. I remember it was a required class in high school. I started off horrible, but by the end, I had earned an A. It's really a case were practice means everything. I suggest an organization such as Toastmasters.
- Writing - Even if you are crafting a short e-mail, try to use proper grammar. You'd be surprised how many e-mails I receive where people make 6 mistakes in 6 sentences. Perhaps it shouldn't, but poor writing skills on the first impression impacts my view of the person's intelligence and/or professionalism - and not in a good way. A person who can write great commands my respect and my trust.
- Networking - Get out there and meet new people in your areas of interest. When you know a lot of people, opportunities multiply. To go back to my eBook example above, I found someone who already has a successful eBook. He's in the process of getting it translated into an audio book now. He could definitely be a great resource for me to learn from. He's newer to blogging and doesn't have the number of readers that I have. I can probably give him a few tips and help him out. Now if I knew 100 people like this guy, I'd have a solution to almost every question I'd ever have at my fingertips.
- Read More and Faster - I have always been a very slow reader. I simply don't scan text very well. Perhaps I'm afraid I'll miss a critical word or something silly like that. This is one area that I'm going to work on in the new year. Much of my time is spent reading, you'd think I'd at least be good at it.
Take Action
- Help Someone with Something Everyday - This may sound like some kind of "Pay It Forward" hype. In some ways it is. I estimate that I've given guidance to around 50 or 100 bloggers who are just getting going that were looking for advice. Some of them became successful bloggers and some stopped blogging. The successful ones have returned the favor 100 times over or more. They link to my articles, they comment on my site, and fill me in with opportunities that I would have otherwise missed. This isn't limited to blogging. If you mentor someone, you'll be seen as a natural leader. I've always seen a strong correlation between leadership and success.
- Make Mistakes - When I just got out of college, I took a job with a top ten Internet company. It was a very high profile job as I managed the search engine myself. It was about 20% of this 2 billion dollar company's traffic. The thought that I'd make a mistake scared me to death. I spent each day walking on eggshells until the day that I made a mistake. A strange thing happened. No one got upset with me, and we were able to recover pretty quickly. From that experience, I learned to always have a back-up plan. This allowed me to take some risks, experiment more, and eventually produce ideas that made the company millions. Just as importantly, I realized that I should tolerate other people's mistakes.
- Surround Yourself with Like-Minded Individuals - There are studies that show an individual's income will be somewhere around the average of your closest five friends. That formula works for me and my closest friends - or it did until I decided to build my career from websites. There are also studies that show your weight will reflect those who you hang around with. It makes sense if you think about it. If your circle of friends likes to bounce business ideas off each other while playing a game of pickup basketball, you'll probably put yourself closer to the path of prosperity than if you tell fart jokes while eating Bon-Bons.
- Exercise - Whenever I work out, I am all pumped up with endorphins for hours. It feels like nothing can stop me - as if I could tackle a bear. Instead of tackling a bear, I focus that energy on my list of goals and churn through it like never before.
- Start a Website or Blog - It's easy to talk the talk, but what matters is if you can walk the walk. A website or blog not only makes you accountable for the goals that you set, but can also help you network and gather useful information. For more inspiration read how personal finance blogging helped me.
Be More Productive
- Don't Get Wrapped Up in Television - I love television. However, I try to watch shows that you don't have to follow too closely. This way I can work while it's on. You won't see me watching a lot of Law and Order because it requires too much of my focus. However, having the Red Sox on the background doesn't distract me from accomplishing what I'm trying to.
- Commute with Books on Tape (or Podcasts) - Most of the people I know have a 30-60 minute commute to work each day. You can listen to some morning talk show or a shock-jock DJ or you can learn some of the skills that I mention above. I'm not saying that you should throw away all entertainment, but if you are looking to increase your productivity, utilizing this downtime is a great start.
- Declutter and Organize Your Home and Work Area - I used to waste a lot of time looking for stuff. The problem? I had stuff everywhere. I couldn't find the stuff that I needed from the old stuff that was piled around it. It's amazed me the number of things that I had around the home that I didn't use. Finally I simply said "Stuff It!" and got rid of most of the stuff that I didn't use and put other special stuff in a closet that I'll probably ignore for another years. Just like in What About Bob, "baby steps..." I tell myself.
Think Your Way To Success
- Think Positively - I'm not going to get Stuart Smalley, Motivational Speaker on you, but making the conscious decision to focus on being financially successful is extremely helpful. Bringing finances to front of my mind, instead of the back has made a huge difference in my finances.
- Don't Hate Money - Lose the thinking that money is the root of all evil. Start thinking about it as a key to freedom to do whatever interests you. Think of it as a way to help friends, family, and charities important to you. Think about how you could use money to make the world a better place.
- Appreciate What You Have - Schedule a day to just appreciate yourself. Appreciate the things that you do have. The fact that you are reading this likely means that you are much better off than others in the world.
- Be In A Good Mood - One of my favorite lines from Say Anything is when Lloyd Dobler (played by John Cusack) says to his sister, "Why can't you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?"
Lessons from a Sports Psychologist
I recently listened in on a clinic given by a sports psychologist to a group of young gymnasts. Among her many tricks was a relay race. After splitting the group into two teams, she timed them as they crawled like crabs, bears, and other creatures across the floor and back. It was an exciting contest. But, I soon realized, the contest wasn't the point. It's what she did next that mattered.
After she told each team their elapsed time, she asked a question: how do you think you'll do the second time? It was interesting to hear them work things out with their respective teams; they're so much smarter than we given them credit for. In this instance, however, their brains failed them.
Both teams set unrealistic goals, which is to be expected. After the second race finished, neither team was anywhere near its target. But our crafty psychologist wasn't through. To complete the lesson, she asked them to set one last goal. This time, with the benefit of experience, each group chose a reasonable target, while still challenging. They learned their lesson and achieved the goals.
Unrealistic expectations plague the would-be achiever. By setting a target that isn't possible, they set themselves up for failure. You can do something today to help your kids avoid this mistake.
Set up a challenge at home. Time the first run, ask for a goal, and then time the second run. Afterwards, explain the idea of reasonable expectations, using the challenge to help clarify your point. Then ask for a third goal and watch the wheels begin to turn and the lesson sink in.
In just a few minutes you can pass on a lesson of improvement they'll use for years to come.
READ MORE - Lessons from a Sports Psychologist
After she told each team their elapsed time, she asked a question: how do you think you'll do the second time? It was interesting to hear them work things out with their respective teams; they're so much smarter than we given them credit for. In this instance, however, their brains failed them.
Both teams set unrealistic goals, which is to be expected. After the second race finished, neither team was anywhere near its target. But our crafty psychologist wasn't through. To complete the lesson, she asked them to set one last goal. This time, with the benefit of experience, each group chose a reasonable target, while still challenging. They learned their lesson and achieved the goals.
Unrealistic expectations plague the would-be achiever. By setting a target that isn't possible, they set themselves up for failure. You can do something today to help your kids avoid this mistake.
Set up a challenge at home. Time the first run, ask for a goal, and then time the second run. Afterwards, explain the idea of reasonable expectations, using the challenge to help clarify your point. Then ask for a third goal and watch the wheels begin to turn and the lesson sink in.
In just a few minutes you can pass on a lesson of improvement they'll use for years to come.
www.motivation123.com
Think You Can't Own Your Own Business? Think Again!
When you check the statistics, only a very small percentage of Americans ever try to own their own business. To be sure, a great many more of us are trying our hand at owning a business than in days past, but the vast majority of Americans still work for a boss.
Why is that? When I ask people why they don't start their own business, most don't mention a lack of money or even a lack of skills. Most will tell me something like, "I'm not the kind of person who can own their own business."
When you start asking them WHY they aren't the right kind of person to be self-employed, most say "I don't like to sell. I can't be pushy. I don't feel comfortable talking people into buying something. It all sounds like too much work."
In the past, I would have told you that you are right; being a business owner wouldn't be right for you. You're probably saving yourself a lot of money, work, and heartache by staying in your job.
But today things have changed. I no longer discourage anyone from going into to business for themselves. The simple reason is it's so EASY now to outsource the parts of business you don't feel comfortable with.
Don't like to look for new customers? Prospecting is a vital part of any business, especially for a new business that NEEDS more customers. But today, you can outsource prospecting to online systems that advertise for prospects, get their information, then separate the tire kickers from the solid potential buyers.
Don't like to sell? No problem. If you're not good at closing a sale, there are teams that can do all that for you. Some services have very experienced rooms of sales people who call your prospects for you, sell them over the phone, close the deal, and send you a check.
Don't have a product or service you can sell? Don't worry about that either. There is a huge and increasing supply of successful firms who give you products and services to sell. In fact, they'll store the products, take the orders, ship the products, and send you a nice commission.
Gone are the days when you have to rent an expensive office, hire employees, or keep boxes of product in your garage. Also gone are the evenings of spending hours on the phone calling total strangers, and sitting through boring sales meetings.
That is how business was done in the past, and a BIG reason why so many people opted not to go into business for themselves. Today, those objections have evaporated. Just about anyone CAN successfully operate their own business. Simply outsource the jobs you don't like, and concentrate of the aspects of the business you enjoy.
READ MORE - Think You Can't Own Your Own Business? Think Again!
Why is that? When I ask people why they don't start their own business, most don't mention a lack of money or even a lack of skills. Most will tell me something like, "I'm not the kind of person who can own their own business."
When you start asking them WHY they aren't the right kind of person to be self-employed, most say "I don't like to sell. I can't be pushy. I don't feel comfortable talking people into buying something. It all sounds like too much work."
In the past, I would have told you that you are right; being a business owner wouldn't be right for you. You're probably saving yourself a lot of money, work, and heartache by staying in your job.
But today things have changed. I no longer discourage anyone from going into to business for themselves. The simple reason is it's so EASY now to outsource the parts of business you don't feel comfortable with.
Don't like to look for new customers? Prospecting is a vital part of any business, especially for a new business that NEEDS more customers. But today, you can outsource prospecting to online systems that advertise for prospects, get their information, then separate the tire kickers from the solid potential buyers.
Don't like to sell? No problem. If you're not good at closing a sale, there are teams that can do all that for you. Some services have very experienced rooms of sales people who call your prospects for you, sell them over the phone, close the deal, and send you a check.
Don't have a product or service you can sell? Don't worry about that either. There is a huge and increasing supply of successful firms who give you products and services to sell. In fact, they'll store the products, take the orders, ship the products, and send you a nice commission.
Gone are the days when you have to rent an expensive office, hire employees, or keep boxes of product in your garage. Also gone are the evenings of spending hours on the phone calling total strangers, and sitting through boring sales meetings.
That is how business was done in the past, and a BIG reason why so many people opted not to go into business for themselves. Today, those objections have evaporated. Just about anyone CAN successfully operate their own business. Simply outsource the jobs you don't like, and concentrate of the aspects of the business you enjoy.
www.readbud.com
The Real Killer of Motivation
Routine is a murderer.
Years ago, before starting the Motivation123 Web site, I had pockets full of plans and ideas. My mind was in a constant state of activity.
As for my reality, nothing ever changed. Nothing in my life went in the directions I had hoped for. It got to the point that I began to doubt whether or not a better life was even possible. Could I change?
Then, while paging through a magazine at the doctor's office, I came across a question, just a short team of words that gripped my attention.
It was simple--as most powerful truths are--but it made an immediate impact. And from that day I possessed a key to progress that has served me ever since.
Before we get to that answer, however, we need to pin down the problem.
The Killer
In a word, it's routine.
It's the pattern of living that, like molten lava, slowly crawls into adulthood, covering and consuming our hopes, dreams, and ambitions.
It's doing the same thing every day because that's what you've always done. It's a vicious circle of repeating actions and events that leads to nowhere.
The reason nothing was changing in my life was because I was stuck in a routine. Every day I followed the same basic outline of living: wake, work, sleep, repeat.
I had new ideas, to be sure, but my actions were old.
Then I was hit with the truth while waiting - for what seemed like weeks - in my doctor's waiting room.
The Question I Took with Me
The sad reality is that most people never realize what is happening until it's too late. That is the skill and cunning of habit and routine.
It wraps its arms around the minutes and hours of your life, distracting and luring you into autopilot, into a dazed mode of living.
All the while, the little time you have to construct your ideal experiences is being sucked away, stolen.
Routine is a murderer. It kills hope and the chance for change. It blinds us to the truth and with a scalpel cuts away our goals and ideas. Routine puts a hand in the face of growth and improvement, leaving room for nothing but the same.
You need a way out of the routine. And for me, the way out came in the form of a question:
'If you continue to follow the same patterns, what are the chances you'll ever experience the things you want to do and ever become the person you hope to be?'
I read the sentence again. What would my chances be? Things hadn't worked out so far, so why would doing the same thing result in anything different?
My Realization
I had my answer. My chances were none.
I would never do the things I had always thought about, never grow into the character I hoped for. If I followed the same routines, the same patterns, I could expect pretty much what I had been getting.
For some, this is the perfect scenario. But for me, I wanted more. I knew how much life had to offer and I wanted to dive in head first. I wanted to experience it all and live a life worth living again.
I looked around the office, looked at the people next to me. None of us would reach that place without a change in pattern. We were all trapped in a circle of habit.
This brings us face to face with a truth that most men and women would rather avoid.
It's relieving to let our goals live in 'someday.' We don't have to worry about never attaining them. Instead, we can put them off and fool ourselves.
'It will happen someday.' No, it won't.
The truth is, if you don't change your routine now, you will never reach those goals. You will never wake up to a life that matches the one in your mind. Never.
Don't hide from this. Accept it. Embrace it. Use it to smash through the chains of routine and drive you into a new way of life, into a new pattern of progress.
READ MORE - The Real Killer of Motivation
Years ago, before starting the Motivation123 Web site, I had pockets full of plans and ideas. My mind was in a constant state of activity.
As for my reality, nothing ever changed. Nothing in my life went in the directions I had hoped for. It got to the point that I began to doubt whether or not a better life was even possible. Could I change?
Then, while paging through a magazine at the doctor's office, I came across a question, just a short team of words that gripped my attention.
It was simple--as most powerful truths are--but it made an immediate impact. And from that day I possessed a key to progress that has served me ever since.
Before we get to that answer, however, we need to pin down the problem.
The Killer
In a word, it's routine.
It's the pattern of living that, like molten lava, slowly crawls into adulthood, covering and consuming our hopes, dreams, and ambitions.
It's doing the same thing every day because that's what you've always done. It's a vicious circle of repeating actions and events that leads to nowhere.
The reason nothing was changing in my life was because I was stuck in a routine. Every day I followed the same basic outline of living: wake, work, sleep, repeat.
I had new ideas, to be sure, but my actions were old.
Then I was hit with the truth while waiting - for what seemed like weeks - in my doctor's waiting room.
The Question I Took with Me
The sad reality is that most people never realize what is happening until it's too late. That is the skill and cunning of habit and routine.
It wraps its arms around the minutes and hours of your life, distracting and luring you into autopilot, into a dazed mode of living.
All the while, the little time you have to construct your ideal experiences is being sucked away, stolen.
Routine is a murderer. It kills hope and the chance for change. It blinds us to the truth and with a scalpel cuts away our goals and ideas. Routine puts a hand in the face of growth and improvement, leaving room for nothing but the same.
You need a way out of the routine. And for me, the way out came in the form of a question:
'If you continue to follow the same patterns, what are the chances you'll ever experience the things you want to do and ever become the person you hope to be?'
I read the sentence again. What would my chances be? Things hadn't worked out so far, so why would doing the same thing result in anything different?
My Realization
I had my answer. My chances were none.
I would never do the things I had always thought about, never grow into the character I hoped for. If I followed the same routines, the same patterns, I could expect pretty much what I had been getting.
For some, this is the perfect scenario. But for me, I wanted more. I knew how much life had to offer and I wanted to dive in head first. I wanted to experience it all and live a life worth living again.
I looked around the office, looked at the people next to me. None of us would reach that place without a change in pattern. We were all trapped in a circle of habit.
This brings us face to face with a truth that most men and women would rather avoid.
It's relieving to let our goals live in 'someday.' We don't have to worry about never attaining them. Instead, we can put them off and fool ourselves.
'It will happen someday.' No, it won't.
The truth is, if you don't change your routine now, you will never reach those goals. You will never wake up to a life that matches the one in your mind. Never.
Don't hide from this. Accept it. Embrace it. Use it to smash through the chains of routine and drive you into a new way of life, into a new pattern of progress.
www.motivation123.com
Membangun Motivasi Anak
Dalam kenyataannya ada dua bentuk motivasi, yaitu eksternal dan internal. Yang eksternal datang dari luar diri. Artinya ada orang lain atau situasi yang mendorong seseorang itu melakukan sesuatu. Misalnya orangtua atau guru memaksa anak-siswanya untuk mengerjakan PR atau yang lain. Saat orangtua atau guru tidak ada di sana, si anak cenderung bermalas-malasan atau mengerjakan hal lain yang dia suka. Dengan kata lain, motivasi eksternal tergantung pada situasi dan mood.
Sedangkan motivasi internal muncul dari dalam diri. Kalau orangtua ingin anak belajar tanpa disuruh, sangat suka membaca, dan sebagainya, orangtua harus membangun motivasi internal. Ini dilakukan sejak anak kecil, mulai dari membangun kepercayaan anak terhadap orangtua (yang nantinya bermuara pada iman kepada Tuhan). Motivasi, baik eksternal maupun internal, kadang-kadang membutuhkan sesuatu yang buruk (penderitaan, masalah) untuk membangunnya. Dari orangtua, perlu ada komitmen, teladan, dan kreativitas.
Anak BelajarSalah satu motivasi yang perlu dibangun dalam diri anak adalah keinginan belajar. Sebenarnya potensinya sudah ada sejak anak masih sangat kecil. Lihat saja, hampir semua bayi di bawah dua tahun yang kita jumpai pasti menunjukkan tanda-tanda pandai dan mau belajar. Mereka mau belajar makan sendiri, main bola atau yang lain, belajar menulis, membantu menyapu, dan sebagainya. Sekarang tergantung pada lingkungan, apakah orang-orang di sekitarnya membantu dia belajar atau membatasinya.
Orang dewasa tanpa sadar dapat mematikan semangat belajar anak dengan cara banyak melarang, menakut-nakuti, menghukum berlebihan, atau memberi respons sangat minimal terhadap aktivitas mereka. Di sisi lain, orangtua dapat memberikan fasilitas untuk menumbuhkan semangat belajar anak. Yang dimaksud bukanlah dalam bentuk les (bagi anak di bawah usia sekolah), melainkan sekadar mengikuti saja prosesnya. Misalnya kalau anak mau belajar menulis, berikanlah peralatan tulis. Kalau perlu dinding rumah dilapisi kertas, agar anak dapat memanfaatkannya. Kita perlu mempelajari pola belajar anak, terutama yang berkaitan dengan hal-hal yang diminatinya. Misalnya Moze. Di usia 5 tahun dia masih sulit belajar membaca di kelas. Kami menerima rapor semester pertama dengan catatan: belum bisa membaca. Ketika dalam liburan tahun itu kami naik mobil ke Bali, minat baca Moze muncul lewat banyaknya billboard yang dia lihat di pinggir jalan. Pulang dari libur, Moze sudah bisa membaca dengan lancar, termasuk kata-kata yang sulit. Dia masuk sekolah lagi sebagai anak paling baik membaca di kelas.
Kedekatan Dengan OrangtuaIni adalah faktor terpenting untuk membangun motivasi internal anak. Prosesnya adalah sebagai berikut: kedekatan dengan orangtua memberi rasa percaya pada anak. Mereka tahu orangtuanya bisa diandalkan. Selain itu, ada tempat untuk bertanya maupun menyalurkan perasaan tidak aman (insecure) yang mereka dapat dari lingkungan.
Anak-anak yang dibesarkan dengan rasa aman yang cukup akan memiliki harga diri yang baik. Ini adalah “modal” anak memasuki dunia remaja. Harga diri yang baik berarti anak tahu mengukur dirinya dengan tepat. Dia tidak minder karena tidak bergantung pada penilaian orang lain. Dia punya identitas diri yang jelas, bukan menjadikan artis sebagai idola, misalnya.
Bagaimana kedekatan dengan orangtua dapat membangun motivasi?
Pertama, anak-anak walaupun ada kecenderungan egois (mementingkan kesenangan diri sendiri), akan mengingat ajaran dan teladan orangtua mereka jika diajak teman melakukan hal-hal negatif. Saya menjumpai seorang remaja putra yang biarpun tidak suka latihan paduan suara tetapi tetap melakukannya karena ibunya meminta.
“Aku sayang ibuku,” kata remaja itu pada saya, “aku akan berusaha memenuhi semua yang dimintanya.” Itu dilakukannya dengan rela, bukan terpaksa. Dia percaya ibunya memberikan hal-hal yang baik untuk dia.
Kedua, kebiasaan baik yang sudah dibangun di rumah sejak anak kecil tidak mudah dilupakan. Misalnya kalau anak-anak belajar teratur sejak kecil, ada masanya tidak usah disuruh lagi, mereka akan melakukannya sendiri. Atau jika di rumah sudah tertanam kebiasaan membaca, anak-anak secara otomatis akan mencari buku di waktu senggangnya.
Selanjutnya, hubungan yang baik antara ayah dan ibu membangun rasa nyaman dalam diri anak untuk senang tinggal di rumah. Moze menyebut istilah home sweet home. Ini akan berbeda jika anak merasa rumahnya seperti “neraka” akibat pertengkaran yang terus menerus.
Kedekatan dengan orangtua adalah benteng bagi remaja, yang akan menjauhkan dia dari pengaruh buruk dan tekanan teman sebaya. Walaupun teman sebaya adalah hal yang penting bagi remaja, dia akan mencari teman bergaul (peer group) yang cocok, yang bisa diterima oleh orangtua.
Jadi, bagaimana kita membangun motivasi dalam diri anak-anak? Mulailah ketika mereka masih sangat kecil. Mulai dengan konsisten dan berkomitmen. Kita akan menuai hasilnya kelak.
Sedangkan motivasi internal muncul dari dalam diri. Kalau orangtua ingin anak belajar tanpa disuruh, sangat suka membaca, dan sebagainya, orangtua harus membangun motivasi internal. Ini dilakukan sejak anak kecil, mulai dari membangun kepercayaan anak terhadap orangtua (yang nantinya bermuara pada iman kepada Tuhan). Motivasi, baik eksternal maupun internal, kadang-kadang membutuhkan sesuatu yang buruk (penderitaan, masalah) untuk membangunnya. Dari orangtua, perlu ada komitmen, teladan, dan kreativitas.
Anak BelajarSalah satu motivasi yang perlu dibangun dalam diri anak adalah keinginan belajar. Sebenarnya potensinya sudah ada sejak anak masih sangat kecil. Lihat saja, hampir semua bayi di bawah dua tahun yang kita jumpai pasti menunjukkan tanda-tanda pandai dan mau belajar. Mereka mau belajar makan sendiri, main bola atau yang lain, belajar menulis, membantu menyapu, dan sebagainya. Sekarang tergantung pada lingkungan, apakah orang-orang di sekitarnya membantu dia belajar atau membatasinya.
Orang dewasa tanpa sadar dapat mematikan semangat belajar anak dengan cara banyak melarang, menakut-nakuti, menghukum berlebihan, atau memberi respons sangat minimal terhadap aktivitas mereka. Di sisi lain, orangtua dapat memberikan fasilitas untuk menumbuhkan semangat belajar anak. Yang dimaksud bukanlah dalam bentuk les (bagi anak di bawah usia sekolah), melainkan sekadar mengikuti saja prosesnya. Misalnya kalau anak mau belajar menulis, berikanlah peralatan tulis. Kalau perlu dinding rumah dilapisi kertas, agar anak dapat memanfaatkannya. Kita perlu mempelajari pola belajar anak, terutama yang berkaitan dengan hal-hal yang diminatinya. Misalnya Moze. Di usia 5 tahun dia masih sulit belajar membaca di kelas. Kami menerima rapor semester pertama dengan catatan: belum bisa membaca. Ketika dalam liburan tahun itu kami naik mobil ke Bali, minat baca Moze muncul lewat banyaknya billboard yang dia lihat di pinggir jalan. Pulang dari libur, Moze sudah bisa membaca dengan lancar, termasuk kata-kata yang sulit. Dia masuk sekolah lagi sebagai anak paling baik membaca di kelas.
Kedekatan Dengan OrangtuaIni adalah faktor terpenting untuk membangun motivasi internal anak. Prosesnya adalah sebagai berikut: kedekatan dengan orangtua memberi rasa percaya pada anak. Mereka tahu orangtuanya bisa diandalkan. Selain itu, ada tempat untuk bertanya maupun menyalurkan perasaan tidak aman (insecure) yang mereka dapat dari lingkungan.
Anak-anak yang dibesarkan dengan rasa aman yang cukup akan memiliki harga diri yang baik. Ini adalah “modal” anak memasuki dunia remaja. Harga diri yang baik berarti anak tahu mengukur dirinya dengan tepat. Dia tidak minder karena tidak bergantung pada penilaian orang lain. Dia punya identitas diri yang jelas, bukan menjadikan artis sebagai idola, misalnya.
Bagaimana kedekatan dengan orangtua dapat membangun motivasi?
Pertama, anak-anak walaupun ada kecenderungan egois (mementingkan kesenangan diri sendiri), akan mengingat ajaran dan teladan orangtua mereka jika diajak teman melakukan hal-hal negatif. Saya menjumpai seorang remaja putra yang biarpun tidak suka latihan paduan suara tetapi tetap melakukannya karena ibunya meminta.
“Aku sayang ibuku,” kata remaja itu pada saya, “aku akan berusaha memenuhi semua yang dimintanya.” Itu dilakukannya dengan rela, bukan terpaksa. Dia percaya ibunya memberikan hal-hal yang baik untuk dia.
Kedua, kebiasaan baik yang sudah dibangun di rumah sejak anak kecil tidak mudah dilupakan. Misalnya kalau anak-anak belajar teratur sejak kecil, ada masanya tidak usah disuruh lagi, mereka akan melakukannya sendiri. Atau jika di rumah sudah tertanam kebiasaan membaca, anak-anak secara otomatis akan mencari buku di waktu senggangnya.
Selanjutnya, hubungan yang baik antara ayah dan ibu membangun rasa nyaman dalam diri anak untuk senang tinggal di rumah. Moze menyebut istilah home sweet home. Ini akan berbeda jika anak merasa rumahnya seperti “neraka” akibat pertengkaran yang terus menerus.
Kedekatan dengan orangtua adalah benteng bagi remaja, yang akan menjauhkan dia dari pengaruh buruk dan tekanan teman sebaya. Walaupun teman sebaya adalah hal yang penting bagi remaja, dia akan mencari teman bergaul (peer group) yang cocok, yang bisa diterima oleh orangtua.
Jadi, bagaimana kita membangun motivasi dalam diri anak-anak? Mulailah ketika mereka masih sangat kecil. Mulai dengan konsisten dan berkomitmen. Kita akan menuai hasilnya kelak.
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Sumber: Majalah Bahana, Maret 2010
